Once upon an archive box
by PCninja
Summary: Using the prompts 'Deny everything' and 'I do the dumbest things for you' to explore an incident involving Tony and Ziva.  All the characters except Ducky appear, the focus is Tony and Ziva. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This is the first part of a story inspired by two prompts (thank you LittleSammy's LJ!) - 'I do the dumbest things for you' and 'Deny everything' (ah, the X-files. But I digress...). I figured I would post the first bit and then I'll add the ending which I'm still working on - a bit of suspense never hurt (that is, assuming some level of intrigue is actually established). Ok, enough rambling, hopefully it brings you some enjoyment!

**Disclaimer: **it may come as a total shock, but I do not own NCIS, the characters or the actors who play those characters. If I did, you would be watching this on your TV, not reading it on your computer. Ok, thank you :)

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><p>'I'm sorry, I seem to be having trouble hearing, I could have sworn you said <em>I<em> do the dumbest things...'

'For you...' she interrupted abruptly, her eyes making a quick sweep of the immediate vicinity, before lowering her voice as the pair kept their hurried pace through the corridor '...to have been so, so...'

'What? Charming? Attractive?' he teased with a smirk as he raised his right eyebrow and leaned into her to emphasise the rolling r's as he added 'Irresistible?'.

'Thoughtless,' she quipped, steering him into the men's room with a glance over her shoulder, the metallic 'click' of the lock following closely behind.

The measured exhale as Ziva sank back against the door compelled Tony to recover from the sudden detour into the washroom, as he swivelled around to meet her attempt at composure with a wry smile.

'What exactly is so funny about this Tony?' she asserted, the disapproving tone emphasised by a sharp lurch away from the door as she stepped towards him, 'if,...no, make that when, Gibbs and the Director find out, we could lose our badges. I cannot believe I allowed myself to be convinced that it was a good idea. "Live a little, have some fun", ugh'.

Ziva shook her head as the throaty grunt of dissatisfaction escaped her lips and bounced off the walls. Confident that the gesture had had the desired effect, she abandoned the scathing discord as Tony's commanding stare and pursed lips indicated that she had made her point.

'Are you done?' he asked with a tilt of the head, his gaze unwavering. Their eyes firmly locked, he bent forward, lowering his voice as there was barely an inch between them, the tension audible as he continued calmly, 'you think I don't know the kind of trouble we're in here Ziva? But blaming me doesn't get either of us off the hook so why don't we try to work this out together, hmm?'.

Tony inhaled thoughtfully as he straightened his back, the expression unfolding across the face in front of him providing assurance that his partner had conceded, while Ziva chewed her lip in contemplation and her eyes searched his for an answer.

-oOo-

Ten minutes earlier, Ziva had been perched at her desk, having arrived not long after dawn to finish leftover paperwork from a recent case before a new day added more administration to her workload. The 'ding' of the elevator announced the arrival of Tony and McGee, the pair continuing an animated exchange as they entered the office.

'Well look-y here, if it isn't Miss Goody-two-shoes, in nice and early to impress the boss,' Tony teased as he slid his backpack off his shoulder and onto the floor. 'Trying to score some brownie points now that we're no longer a Probie are we?'

Ziva's eyes remained glued to the computer screen and without missing a keystroke she retorted, 'You worried I'll make you look bad Tony?'

'Nah, he's perfectly capable of doing that on his own' McGee added with a smug grin as he settled into his chair.

'Hey', Tony snapped, shooting a glare in Tim's direction, 'that's the last time I humour you pretending to be interested in whatever it was I was pretending to be interested in just now.'

The banter was cut short as Abby scuttled into the bullpen, her hands flapping fervently as she gestured for the team to gather together.

Wide eyed, Abby let out two short breathes, remnants of her sudden entrance, and swallowed hard. 'Have you guys seen Gibbs yet or is he still in with the Director?'

'We just got here' McGee replied cautiously as he examined the same puzzled expression on the faces of his colleagues, that he felt on his own. 'What's going on Abby?'

'Well,' she proclaimed with a knowing glint in her eyes as they darted to each member of her audience, 'apparently somebody broke into the evidence lock-up last night and they think they might have been after some of the files from a case the Director was involved in with Gibbs. Like way back, before Director Vance was, well, Director'.

'What?' the three exclaimed in unison, only the unity ended with the word itself, as panic accompanied the response for two of them.

'Ahh, what makes them think they were after something so specific?' Tony queried as as he cleared his throat and jammed his hands in his pockets, hoping that his increasing heart rate was not obvious.

'There's this section where there are evidence archives pertaining to certain international cases that are super sensitive. Like, Cold War spy stuff that is all hush hush and while the cases are technically closed, they're never closed, if you catch my drift. So I don't know what it is exactly that they're worried about, but it must be good' Abby finished excitedly.

'So what exactly was taken?' Ziva asked casually as she scratched her right eyebrow with her index finger.

'That's the kicker' Abby taunted, letting silence fill the air for an agonizing moment. 'Nothing'. A proud grin adorned her face as she revelled in the fact that she was the barer of such information.

'Nothing?' McGee responded, his impatience and confusion evident, 'Then what's the problem? How do they even know somebody broke in? Did the surveillance cameras pick something up?'

'No, there are no cameras in that section of the garage' Tony interjected, his tone confirming the deliberation his furrowed brow and raised chin alluded to.

'There _were_ no cameras in that section of the garage' McGee corrected, as he made his way back to his workstation. 'They updated the security system about a month ago, after that series of petty thefts. The only problem is that the footage is held on an external server to try and eliminate the chance of someone internal interfering with it, so they have to lodge a request for the surveillance whenever they want to review it'.

Tony craned his neck forward in the hope he had misheard and cautiously strode towards Tim, who was now focused on logging on to his computer, when Ziva's voice intercepted.

'So, how long would it take to get a response to one of these requests?' she inquired, her eyes daring to meet Tony's for the briefest exchange, his mouth poised to ask the exact same question.

'You mean to get the surveillance footage? Not long. But of course it's going through all the footage once you have it that takes time.' McGee's voice tapered off as he squinted at his screen, indicating that something more captivating had demanded his attention. 'No! My email has just auto-archived. I thought I'd switched that off! Great, now I have to go back and re-organize them all'.

Abby settled on the desk beside McGee as he raised his arms in exasperation, hoping to prolong her visit until Gibbs returned from the Director's office, while Tony's eyes indicated to Ziva that it would be an ideal time to convene elsewhere.

'Ah, I need some help with that interrogation technique you were telling me about Ziva, you know, the one you said you would walk me through when we got a chance?' Tony declared loudly, the stunned look on Ziva's face confirming that he had perhaps drawn unnecessary attention to their exit.

'Sure' she replied tersely with a forced smile, as he made his way over to her. She dropped her voice as she turned to walk alongside him and added in a whisper, 'you really do some of the dumbest things sometimes'.

-oOo-

Now as they stood, eyes affixed, she wanted him to tell her that he had a clever plan, a way to mend this, but he wore the same look of defeat as her.

'We cannot stay in the men's room all day,' she offered, agitation hanging off every word. 'Gibbs is probably already there, asking McGee where we are and it is not going to take very long for him to put two and two together...'

'...I know', Tony cut in as he began to pace, his arm raised as he rested his hand on the back of his head. 'If we can just figure out a way to stop him from requesting that footage...'

'...the footage that, if I recall, shouldn't exist because, and I quote, 'this is the best kept secret at NCIS, the evidence lock-up blackspot'' Ziva recalled mockingly.

'Making those little quotation mark gestures is nowhere near as endearing as you think it is, so you can quit it with the highlight reel because as I said before, getting mad is not going to fix this,' Tony reasserted sternly, before resuming his movement back and forth. 'We need to know what Gibbs knows so we know which angle to take...'

A small laugh escaped Ziva's lips as she attempted to clear the air, 'how about a 'deny everything' button that stops Gibbs from asking any questions!' she teased. 'Gibbs knows everything Tony, we...'

'...wait a second. A 'deny everything' button,' Tony stopped still and faced Ziva as a broad grin broke out, 'that's exactly it! How did we not think of that before?'

'Tony, I was trying to lighten the mood...'.

Tony lightly squeezed her right shoulder, a sign of both reassurance and gratitude, as he brushed past hastily, his purposeful stride enticing Ziva to follow closely behind as he made his way back to the bullpen.

-oOo-

Abby was still where they had left her, her concentrated stare willing the stairs to reveal a descending Gibbs. Tony's furious entrance was met with a startled frown from Tim.

'Wow, that must have been quite some interrogation technique...'

'McGee, how would you feel about weaving a little McMagic this fine morning?' Tony asked, wiggling his fingers for added effect and hoping to trade a pleading grin for his colleague's cooperation. 'You know, to take your mind off this whole email archive incident and everything.'

'Yeah right, you expect me to believe that alleviating my frustration is the motivation behind whatever it is you need Tony. Nice try,' McGee countered with a short disgruntled snicker as he studied Tony's face, a flicker of desperation betraying the jovial facade. A victorious smile curled the corners of Tim's mouth as he lifted an eyebrow and continued. 'Oh this is good, isn't it?'

'Name your price Mc... ', Tim's raised eyebrows dared Tony to be snide, so he proceeded with caution, '...esteemed co-worker, anything at all, but I need you to act quickly, discretely, and without asking any questions,' Tony instructed in a hushed tone as he rested his weight onto his hands and leaned over McGee's desk. 'And it wouldn't hurt you to wipe that smile off your face either'.

Ziva shifted from one foot to the other and reached for a file as she attempted to feign total disinterest in the conversation taking place and eavesdrop simultaneously.

'Gee, I don't know Tony, I'm kinda busy with this whole inbox mess and then there is also the fact that you haven't actually told me what you want me to do, so it really depends...' McGee allowed the sentence to gradually fade and tried to suppress the delight he felt knowing that he had the upper hand.

'Depends on what?' Tony demanded impatiently, his growing agitation manifesting in a sharp inhale through the nostrils and jerk of the head.

'Well,' McGee continued slowly, 'is what you're wanting me to do illegal?'

'Possibly.'

'Immoral?'

'Unlikely.'

McGee took great pleasure in leaning forward slightly as he lodged a final point for clarification, 'Work related or personal?'

'I thought I made it clear that there were to be no questions,' Tony shot back.

McGee donned a smirk that indicated he knew this favour would mean Tony owed him big time. 'Anything at all huh? What do you need Tony?'.

'That surveillance footage, from the garage, you said it's kept offsite so it can't be tampered with by someone internal, right?'

'Right' McGee responded hesitantly, the smirk vanishing as he wondered what exactly Tony was about to ask of him.

'But someone with your, ahem, skill set...'. Tony promptly peered over each shoulder before stooping lower to shrink the distance between the pair, '...are you able to access that footage McGee?' Tony finished, deciding that being cryptic at this point was simply a waste of precious time.

'Do you know something about the break in?' McGee whispered nervously, 'Because Tony, if you're asking me to tamper with evidence that relates to something that Director Vance and Gibbs both have a vested interest in, then the answer is absolutely not'.

Ziva looked up from the blank folder she was examining, trying to mask the unease she felt as Tony calculated the best way to navigate McGee's defiance.

With a crisp exhale Tony stated intently, 'I need you to trust me on this McGee. You heard it yourself, nothing was taken from the lock-up, it's probably just the Director being paranoid'. He then pounced the moment contemplation made a fleeting appearance on Tim's face, 'can you access that footage, or not?'.

Tim licked his lips, a tell tale sign of his trepidation, and took a deep breath as he scratched his neck. 'If I do this for you, you will take full responsibility if anyone finds out about it? And...'

'Absolutely' Tony acknowledged prematurely, his relief kept at bay by McGee's raised finger.

'...you will do all my paperwork for the next month, bring me a coffee every day for the next fortnight and...'

'Yes?' Tony queried with growing concern as McGee's satisfied smile from the beginning of the conversation returned.

'...lend me your unedited copy of 'Timerider''.

Tony slowly straightened himself out, his face pained as he processed the request.

'Do you have any idea how rare that tape is McGee? And valuable. I mean, these things fetch big money at auction. I have to give this some serious consideration' Tony finished, his strained expression conveying the internal battle taking place.

'I'm sure there are other things that are equally rare and valuable that you would prefer to hold onto more than a...a...what is it? A film?' Ziva added pointedly, the insinuation resonating like a slap across the face.

To appease the confusion her outburst had stirred in Abby and McGee, whose eyes were firmly attached to her, Ziva added, 'because it seems to me that it is a small price to pay for whatever it is you are asking of McGee. From where I am standing, a moment ago it appeared that what you are after was a matter of some urgency, but clearly I am mistaken'.

Tony screwed up his face to ensure that Ziva understood and appreciated just how excruciating it was for him to release the two simple words he knew he had to utter, 'Ok McGee'.

With a satisfied nod, McGee got straight on to the task at hand and enquired, 'So, assuming I can access the footage without too much trouble, what do want me to do with it? Review it? Copy it?'

'Delete all' Tony informed him matter-of-factly.

'What?' asked McGee, a look of complete disbelief engulfing him. 'Tony, you want me to delete the entire database?'

'Well, not the whole thing, just any surveillance files from the garage cameras,' Tony said coolly as he drew circle on the desk with his finger and attempted to avoid eye contact.

Apprehension dripped from his every word as Tim tried to dissuade his colleague, 'Tony, I would feel a lot more comfortable just deleting a section of the footage. Wiping all of it, that's..'

'Brilliant!' Abby cut in. 'Tony, you're a genius' she added with an approving nod as she rose up eagerly.

'What?' Ziva and McGee cried concurrently in confusion. 'How is _he_ the genius? I'm the one who has to figure out a way to get in, locate the footage and then make it vanish' McGee concluded, clearly hurt.

'Because' Abby went on to clarify, 'if you delete all the footage that has been captured by cameras in one location...

'...they will think that there is a fault in the equipment in that particular area' McGee finished, almost with a hint of admiration.

'Exactly' affirmed Tony looking pleased with himself, Ziva's small smile of approval duly noted.

She was indeed impressed with the link, however tenuous, her partner had made between her throw-away comment in the men's room and this grand plan. A small swell of pride expanded her chest as she watched him bent over beside McGee, concentration etched into his eyes, his mouth, his forehead.

'The 'delete all' button', an ingenious invention, if only there were buttons like this for everyday, real life situations,' Tony joked as McGee explained that he had indeed accessed the server and located the footage in question.

'What, this isn't real life enough for you Tony?' McGee chimed in sarcastically. 'Now you're sure you want to go through with this?' he added in a last ditch effort to change Tony's mind.

'Hit it McHero, a fast game's a good game'.

With two clicks of his mouse and the strike of a key, Tony saw the evidence evaporate before him and let out cry of jubilation as the words 'File does not contain any data' blinked at him from the screen.

'Well done McGee, you have well and truly earned your celery sticks, or whatever it is you snack on these days!' Tony declared with a rough squeeze of McGee's shoulders supposed to resemble a hug, before he turned to flash Abby a toothy grin.

'Not to mention the assistance with my paperwork, daily coffee and the copy of 'Timerider' you now owe me,' retorted Tim with a lopsided smirk.

'Or the explanation you owe me.'

Gibbs' voice preceded him, his steely gaze bore down on the team as he briskly descended the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

2

'Dinozzo,' Gibbs stated calmly as he stopped almost nose to nose with Tony, as if to flaunt the irritation seeping from his pores, 'do you care to explain why the Director would have found this in the evidence lock-up before dawn this morning?'.

Tony allowed his eyes to break away from Gibbs's to examine the card being held up in his boss's right hand. A cinema loyalty card. Unequivocally, undeniably, _his_ cinema loyalty card. Anthony D. Dinozzo Jr, Platinum membership.

Tony's colleagues traded looks of uncertainty as they attempted to fade into the background and avoid the wrath that was unfolding before them.

'Oh that's where that was! You know, I've been looking for that, I was getting worried that I was going to lose my platinum status. Be sure to thank the Director for me,' Tony finished briskly and cheerfully in the hope that the sweat gathering at his hairline would go unnoticed. But as he turned to walk away, a distinctive 'clack' rang out, the wooden beads of the bracelet Gibbs had thrown onto the desk in front of him stealing the attention of all four team members.

Tony turned his head to examine the artifact. He bit his upper lip in order to refrain from displaying the same alarm registered in another set of eyes fiercely fixed on the finely painted piece. Only hours earlier he had tenderly swept his hand along the soft underside of the forearm that brandished the ornament, raised in a playful surrender against a bulging archive box.

'This yours too Dinozzo?' Gibbs asked flatly. His mouth formed the first word of a response, but Tony was silenced by Gibbs' piercing stare and growing annoyance. 'And I'd think pretty carefully about your answer'.

'Yes Boss. I mean, no Boss, that's not mine, and yes Boss, thinking very carefully about my answer'.

Tony flinched slightly as he finished his rambling explanation, anticipating the head slap that no doubt awaited him.

'It was found, along with your card, under a shelf in the lock-up. In an area that you really have no reason to access', Gibbs revealed with an unsettling smile. 'Unless, of course, there's a reason that you would be in that area that I am unaware of and you care to enlighten me'.

Tony searched his mind for a plausible fabrication, administering an internal head slap for even considering telling Gibbs a lie.

'I may have been under the impression that that particular area of the garage was not under video surveillance' Tony started apprehensively, while Gibbs remained stone faced.

'And I may have also been under the impression that the secretive nature of my work would impress certain people...and that the evidence lock-up would...'

Tim intercepted as he expelled a disbelieving 'You didn't?', the subtle turn of Gibbs' head in his direction compelling him to add a swift 'sorry Boss'.

'Certain people Dinozzo?' Gibbs questioned coldly.

'A lady person,' Tony revealed anxiously with a gulp, the words tumbling out disjointedly.

Ziva felt a sharp twinge in the pit of her stomach. The evidence that threatened to expose her was in fact a gift she had recently received and worn only once, outside work hours, information the man-on-trial before her was privy to and also the reason she had failed to notice its absence. She calculated that the likelihood of connecting the jewellery to her was on par with the chance of someone discovering the invisible imprint of an archive box on her lower back, and it would therefore be wise to join McGee in his disapproval.

'That is disgusting Tony', she announced vehemently as she made her way over to her desk.

She stayed focused on her destination to avoid the flicker of condemnation she would most certainly receive for her betrayal, if she was to lock eyes with her partner at that moment.

'Dinozzo, did it ever occur to you that the reason we have our evidence lock-up in a basement, surrounded by barb wire fencing accessible only with a certain level of security clearance, is because it is not open to the public?' Gibbs challenged in an acerbic tone.

A deafening silence descended on the bullpen and lingered like an unwelcome visitor.

Tony stood helpless, flailing in his jumbled thoughts as he searched frantically for an acceptable response, when the piercing quiet was shattered by an even more startling sound.

Gibbs's head tilted back, his chin in a prolonged salute to the ceiling, he released a laugh that had slightly hysterical undertones.

Absolute horror washed over the faces of Tony and his colleagues as they waited for their boss, a man who rarely wasted audible noises with words, let alone laughter, to realign his eyes with Tony.

'Ahh, Dinozzo. I expect a hell of a lot more from you', Gibbs stated matter-of-factly, his usual demeanour returned, though the glint in his eye alluded to a hidden punchline that was yet to be revealed.

The sudden instability of his usually stable leader was so unnerving, that Tony could only think to provide one response; 'Sorry Boss, it won't happen again'.

The words had barely left his mouth when Gibbs had taken two seamless paces to reassert his initial stance, the nutty scent of his morning brew struck Tony's nostrils as he remained motionless but for the deepening creases in his forehead as his eyebrows drew together.

'You're damn right it won't', he ordered, the hoarse, throaty tone resembling the Gibbs Tony was familiar with.

'And you know why it won't, Dinozzo?' Gibbs added, each word allowed to land before the next was revealed, the bemused expression on his face banishing the familiarity once again. Gibbs' head tilted slightly to the right, then the left. Two sharp motions to indicate that a reaction was warranted.

'Ah, no Boss, I don't', Tony answered in utter defeat.

Gibbs allowed the silence he had dispelled moments earlier to resettle momentarily before he leaned even closer, to ensure his husky whisper was spoken directly into Tony's ear. 'Because no member of my team would be so careless as to leave content from an evidence box to be found by Security during their morning sweep of the garage. Specifically, a file from an archive box that had clearly been reassembled, for God-knows what reason...with duct tape'.

Gibbs took a step back and relished in the absolute bewilderment oozing from Tony's entire being as he informed him, 'You can explain everything to the Director when you get back. He is going to want to know why he received a phone call at 5am'.

Tony let out a small whine of protest to which Gibbs shook his head and picked up his coffee.

Abby slinked away, deciding that she would press Gibbs for information at a later stage in the safety of her lab, while McGee had well and truly emerged himself in rearranging his desktop icons.

'Get back? Where am I going?' Tony dared to ask.

'To the evidence garage Dinozzo. The Director has decided it would be good time to reorganize some of the filing systems we have down there. I've nominated you for the job'.

Ziva expelled a small grunt, a badly stifled giggle, to which Gibbs responded, 'you too David, seeing that you seem to find this whole thing so amusing'.

Feigning horror with the appropriate sounds of objection, Ziva joined Tony as he made his way towards the elevator, neither wanting to make eye contact until they were safely out of sight.

'Dinozzo' Gibbs called, a look of amusement upon his face as Tony found himself catching the bracelet his boss had just propelled across the partition.

-oOo-

As the pair waited for the elevator to arrive, keeping his sights locked on the metal doors in front of him Tony let out a hushed condemnation.

'I cannot believe I just implicated myself in something that breaks, like, every NCIS protocol, plus admitted to Gibbs, McGoo and Abby that I wanted to show off 'the secretive nature of my work'...while you get to strut out of here Little-Miss-Innocent, reputation still intact'.

'Are you going to give me my bracelet back?' Ziva responded in a matched tone, the upward inflection at the end of her question indicating she already knew the answer.

'No. I think I deserve at least some kind of memento as a reward for the heroic actions you have witnessed here today'.

Both fought back smiles as the familiar 'ding' greeted them, each recalling the frantic gathering of strewn documents, the split side of the cardboard container sagging sadly off the shelf, the feeble attempt at reconstruction.

Tony continued as they stepped into the cubicle, 'I can't believe I now have to go through all those files...the papers, the little plastic bags...ugh'.

As he hit the button for the basement, Ziva coiled her index finger gently around his pinky, an attempt at a peace offering.

Tony look down at her with his eyes only, head held high, the left side of his mouth upturned in a prelude to a smirk, as he admitted, 'you know, it seems that you were actually right after all Miss David. I really do do the dumbest things...for you', he finished, the smirk transforming into a cheeky grin as he leaned forward to emphasise the last two words.

'It could have been worse' she teased, tilting her head so that she he had a full view of her features, a glimmer in the deep brown eyes locked onto him.

'Oh really? How exactly?' he queried, his grin softening and his eyes filling with adoration.

'You could have been the archive box,' she replied suggestively before her lips landed softly upon his, the contact fleeting as the elevator reached its destination and the doors opened.


End file.
